Pregnancy… 20 Weeks In Review

Posted on May 24, 2012 by

I know I haven’t kept this updated as much as I wanted to throughout my pregnancy, for that I’m sorry. So I’m going to give you a crash course in the past 20 weeks of my life… Ready?

January…

January 18th approx 3pm… and 4 or 5 days after potential ovulation

January 18th. Same tests… just a different angle. Oh. My. Gosh. Do I see a faint second line?

My post-ovulation PMS high blood sugars and insulin resistance was no where to be found, which was why I decided to test so early before my period was actually due. We decided to ditch our birth control methods on New Years Day, not expecting that we’d end up pregnant so fast… for everyone we know, and everywhere we read, it took months…

The day before my period was due… Still not believing it…

Okay… I guess I’m pregnant!

I had one more test left… so I took it about a week past due. No denying that positive!

As you can see, I spent most of February peeing on pregnancy tests to see what would happen…

March…

The first doctors appointments started… I had to pick what hospital I was/am going to deliver at. Where I live, there are only two really good choices for high risk diabetic mommas to be… University of Michigan Hospital or Beaumont Hospital. I chose Beaumont because it was closer to home and there are no one way streets… unlike Ann Arbor. Nothing against one way streets, but they may get confusing for those trying to visit baby and me in the hospital and I wouldn’t be able to give proper directions to help them find their way.

The gestational sac and smaller yolk sac… and I think that’s Baby, the grain of rice under the tiny yolk sac.

Two weeks later… and a heartbeat is detected!

I spent most of March admiring the new roundness of my belly, even though it was all hormonal bloat at this point…

April…

The 12th week scan! The ultrasound tech was 80% positive it was a little boy…

Baby… moving and grooving and flailing all extremities… kinda like how I dance…

Aww what a cute profile!

May…

The 20th week scan… just a few weeks early at 17 weeks and 4 days. The ultrasound tech was right… IT’S A LITTLE BOY!!!

Side profile with his hand by his head…

His spine…

Adorable little foot!

Hopefully his first and last mug shot

And my belly is becoming officially more bump!

19 weeks and 5 days

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Update…and a Heartbreak

Posted on April 28, 2012 by

So I’m 16 weeks pregnant today! Somehow the doctors are saying I’m starting the 17th week, I don’t get it but hey, if you want to say I’m farther along, I’m cool with that.

Blood sugars have been…. Boring. Very average… A few flatliner days… But lately I’ve been getting blood sugars as high as 220 in the most random times… Like in the middle of my work shift?

Speaking of work, it’s becoming increasingly more difficult. I have sciatica nerve pain down my entire right leg and if I don’t sit down for every 30 minutes I’m on my feet, my thigh feels like it was set on fire… No good. Sometimes work is just so busy that I can’t sit down as often as I should, which leaves me barely able to walk by the end of the shift.

Good new before bad? Okay!

I finished my 30 page thesis paper… Which means I’m officially a graduate again! Three bachelor degrees and a boat load of debt, but I’m done with school for at least the next 3 years.

Okay, ready for the bad news?

I won’t go into details here, but my boyfriend and father of my unborn child decided it would be best for him to break up with me in a very immature and cowardly way. So I’ll be going through this pregnancy alone, which is hard. Especially hard when I see both people and their child so happy together (I’ve seen male/female, female/female, and male/male parenting relationships, hence the “both people”). I feel very much alone and abandoned, but luckily my parents are on my side and letting me move back home… But financially I’m scared, I can’t even afford my pump supplies and I’ve stopped using the Dexcom because I simply can’t afford it on my part time paycheck. I know it was an ever valuable tool, but it’s just not in my budget anymore.

I know that the higher power(s) have a plan and that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes shit can get overwhelming.

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Message in a Bottle

Posted on April 1, 2012 by

To the unknown,

My name is Sarah and today is April 1st, 2012 (no, this isn’t an awful April Fool’s joke). I know you are probably over 100 years in my future, but hopefully reading this will renew your faith in your health care system. I live with type 1 diabetes, an autoimmune disease that stops my pancreas from producing insulin, basically a fatal disease if I do not receive insulin injections. Today I wear an insulin pump, it’s an egg shaped device that inserts my body with insulin through a tiny catheter that pierces my skin… And I have to wear this device every single moment of every single day for the rest of my life, because let’s face it, at this point, I doubt there will ever be a cure. I’m pregnant! I’m in my 13th week of pregnancy… And so far my baby is 100% healthy, which is a miracle because diabetes can destroy dreams… Like being an astronaut, or even becoming a mother. I test my blood sugar 15 times a day and right now that costs me $15 a day. Pretty expensive to live!

But enough with the depressing and boring stuff! I graduate from college for the third time in less than a month from now. I also advocate for a cure for this awful disease because even if I don’t see a cure in my lifetime, I hope that my child will see it in his or hers (I won’t know my baby’s gender for 6 more weeks). I workout every other day for an hour and I do my best to eat right, all healthy habits that have prevented me from having any diabetes related complications, like eye disease, heart disease, or kidney disease.

I’m the only one in my family with this stupid disease, there are no other genetic links anywhere within the past seven generations (hello ancestors in Italy and Ireland!) so the doctors think that when I had scarlet fever (I was 4 or 5) my immune system freaked out and when puberty came around, the changes that my body were going through proved to be too much and my immune system killed off my insulin making beta cells. I really hope that you don’t know what diabetes is, that would mean that a cure was found. Nobody should have to live with this awful disease, but if they do, it is possible to be completely 100% healthy, as I’m proof of that.

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Hiatus…

Posted on March 15, 2012 by

Sorry everyone, I will be on a short term hiatus until school is over or these term papers are done. It’s crunch time…a 40 page paper, a 7 page paper, and a 15 page paper all due in 3.5 weeks. Sadly, only the 7 page paper has been started.

So until then, here’s a bit of good news…

I’m 9weeks5days pregnant… And baby’s heartbeat is 155!

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Six Weeks

Posted on February 24, 2012 by

So today is the end of the sixth week of pregnancy and this week has been, by far, the most interesting. Hormones are sharply increasing and so are the pregnancy symptoms!

Morning sickness started to set in this morning. Right after I ate my cheese burrito I made, my stomach was tossing and turning as if I was the backseat passenger in a taxi driven by a drunk taxi driver. So I managed to lay in bed all morning because I knew if I got up, my food would come up and I’m not cool with involuntary puking because knowing my luck, it would end up all over the carpet and not in the toilet.

Mood swings are pretty…. Scary. Driving to work and one moment I’m rocking out to my Rise Against cd and the next moment I’m cussing out drivers and flicking them off and driving like an A-hole because they decided to go slower than me after they switched lanes in front of me. While The Boyfriend is gone to Virginia for work for the entire month he’s texting me on his days off saying how he’s going to the bars with his coworkers… And I flipped out! How fair is it that you get to go out drinking with your friends and I’m here at home dreaming of merlot and salami sandwiches. Then I proceeded to burst out crying how I’m going to be raising this child alone because he’s going to be out drinking with his friends alllll the time. Really? Get a freaking grip! Yes, my mood swings and irrationality are in full force… Thanks hormones!

My stomach is super bloated and I feel like I’ve gained 50 pounds thanks to these hormones… I’ve only gained 1 pound so far and that varies during the day,but I do look like I’m further along than what I am. My boobs are also larger than they have ever been, which isn’t a bad thing except they are so sensitive and sore that even the tiniest bump in the road leaves me cringing in pain. I fear all potholes at this point. I can’t even sleep on my stomach anymore between the bloated belly and the big hard rocks that are on my chest.

Sciatica…. How I hate you. Two weeks ago when I went to see the high risk guy, I asked him why my right hip hurts and why my right thigh is painfully tingly and feels like it’s asleep. Sciatic….he told me that it’s not going to go away until the baby is born. His wife had it and it got so bad she could barely get out of bed. Gee thanks! This is exceptionally painful when I’m standing (see also: all day at work) or laying on my right side. So all night long I toss and turn, I’m used to sleeping in my right side, then I’ll roll over to my left side… Then the right side… Over and over until I wake up in the morning.

Oh baby, you are something else. Hopefully this week flies by so Wednesday comes sooner so I can spy on you again and see how big you’ve grown!

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Dear Baby, I’m so sorry.

Posted on February 17, 2012 by

Dear Baby,

This past Wednesday I had a very early ultrasound to see if we could find you and your little heartbeat, even though it was pretty early and chances were you were still too small. We were 5 weeks and 4 days, I couldn’t believe how far along we were! They did an abdominal ultrasound and found your little home but we couldn’t see the small details, so they conducted a transvaginal ultrasound to get a better look. Your home measured perfectly and so did your little yolk sac, or food source for the next couple of weeks until the placenta takes over. Just as both the ultrasound operator and I thought, you were still too little to see quite yet. (but no worries, I go back there in 2 weeks to try and spy on you again)

From there I got to speak with the high risk doctor about what to expect when it comes to growing you and managing my other child, Diabetes. I got some blood sugar goals to aim for, 60-90 when I’m sleeping, under 120 2 hours after meals, and 130-140 as the meal peak. He strictly emphasized no high blood sugars, nothing over 200 because you simply couldn’t handle it. Totally doable, I love you so much already I’d do anything to make sure that you arrive in our arms safely.

But Baby… I’m so so sorry.

I’ve been watching my blood sugars so closely that they have been hovering in the 70s, low 80s tops. I think that’s where the trouble started last night. My blood sugar was an even 100 when I went to bed. A few hours later I woke up and checked my blood sugar again because the dexcom was wailing on the nightstand that I was “low” with a decreasing arrow. My blood sugar was 56 according to the meter. As soon as I put the meter back in my pink bag I started seeing stars and little floaty flashers. 30 minutes later I wake up and I’m covered in sweat. I’m so sweaty it looks like I’ve ran a marathon because when I ran a 10k I never sweated this much. I must have passed out, good thing I was still in bed, but holy shit was I scared. My very wobbly legs slowly maneuvered me to the kitchen where I supported my weight on the counters as I drank juice box after juice box and peanut butter and honey sandwiches and granola bars. My reaction was to eat anything in hopes I didn’t pass out again. Chewing the sandwiches and granola bars were awkward, I couldn’t get my mouth to work right. I shivered from being cold in my soaked clothes but I knew that I could change later. Once I devoured everything I tried to test my blood sugar again… 73…236…135… What the fuck. The results might have been skewed since I had honey and juice all over my hands. Physically and mentally exhausted, I foggily try to think of how much I consumed, although it seemed like a big blur, bolus for any extra carbs, and go to bed not even changing my wet clothes.

3am rolls by and I can’t find my dexcom. I know I fell asleep with it in my hand but it’s not in the bed. After a few minutes of searching I find it. It looks like the low that triggered me passing out the first time left the dexcom confused… It had 3 question marks, as if saying to me “did I do that?” (in a “Steve Urkle” voice of course!). The one time that I really truly needed to be alerted of my blood sugar going nutso and technology had failed me. I tested my blood sugar, 394. Holy shit batman! I rage bloused like crazy and started searching the forums on Diabeticmommy.com and the “OH!Baby!!” group on Tudiabetes.org for stories where other diabetic mommies had blood sugars this high this early in pregnancy and still go on to have a very healthy baby. There were a couple, but not many reported blood sugars hitting the 300, almost 400 mark. I gave up and decided that I should go back to sleep because staying up late and worrying isn’t going to fix things.

8am rolls by… Awake again, blood sugar 264. Still high, but a tiny bit less scary. Rage bolus some more, hop in the shower, change site, test again… 224. Okay, going down. I can still taste the peanut butter and honey in my mouth, so I brush my teeth, scrubbing away the nightmare of last night. It’s now 9am and my blood sugar is at 217, but I have 7units of insulin on board, so I’m keeping the glucose tablets handy. I’m also getting ready to change out the dexcom site.

Baby, if you are still safely swimming in there…. I’m so sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. It was never my intentions. Diabetes is awful. Your daddy and I love you so so so much already and all we want is for you to be safe inside me and for you to be healthy so we can hold you in our hands and kiss and love every tiny inch of you. Please forgive me and keep holding on… And I’ll try to dry my tears.

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I’M PREGNANT!!!

Posted on February 8, 2012 by

The Boyfriend and I finally broke the news to all of our close family and friends, so I can finally start blogging about it publicly… I’M PREGNANT! It’s really weird saying that on here… really, who gets the go ahead from their endocrinologist the first week of January, decides to ditch all methods of birth control, and ends up pregnant in the same month? Apparently that’s my story….

I knew something was up from the first day. (TMI will be sprinkled throughout this post… fyi..) Typically, the first two weeks of my monthly cycle my blood sugars range from 80 to 150, with an odd 180 thrown in there for fun. The last two weeks of my monthly cycle I become very insulin resistant with blood sugars ranging from 250-350 while running a temp basal increase of 95% for most of the day. It’s a very stark difference that I’ve managed to track successfully since I was a teenager.

Well it was 2 days into the last half of the cycle and I’ve been going low… not your typical “oops I over did it” low. These lows were scary and would not let up. I spent the entire day in between 50 and 80 no matter how many glucose tabs I managed to chuck in my mouth. Very unusual. But I knew that there was a chance, a very slim 5% chance, that we could have conceived… so I took a home pregnancy test. I got a super faint line but I couldn’t tell if it was pink or just the chemical strip of the test, so I moved on.

The next day brought even more severe lows…

and more lows….

Now I really knew that something was up and I began taking home pregnancy tests each day to try to explain this weird occurrence and luckily, The Boyfriend was away on a business trip so he wasn’t here to experience the weird occurrence or the crazy amounts of home pregnancy tests I took. The first obviously positive test happened exactly one week before my period was due… pretty freaking early. Each day the tests grew darker and darker, but now that it was right in front of my face, I didn’t believe it! I would send the pictures of the tests to my sisters and The Boyfriend to see if I wasn’t seeing things… I definitely wasn’t seeing things. So I ran up to urgent care and demanded that they drew my blood for a blood test. They looked at me like I was crazy. The results were in next day and the nice assistant who didn’t give me the crazy face the day before said “Miss Last Name Here, congrats… you are definitely pregnant. Swing by and pick up the paperwork if you’d like”. Well of course I swung by. I was there in less than 5 minutes. I needed to see the lab results on paper to truly believe it. I placed all the pregnancy tests and the new paper on the stove and The Boyfriend and I just stood there… silent. He looked at me awkwardly and asked me if I was excited, I looked at him and asked if he was excited… OF COURSE WE ARE EXCITED! We hugged and kissed (I think this is how it started…) and did a little happy dance in the middle of the kitchen.


(Progression of two of the many pregnancy tests I took well before my period was late)


(The test I took the day before my period was due)

We decided to tell everyone really early because The Boyfriend will be gone on a business trip for an entire month, then home for a week, then gone again for another month… off and on during my first trimester and part of the second as far as we know… and if for some reason I need support of any kind, I want people in my life to be able to be there… from support to advice to keeping me sane. I know that most people decide to wait until the 12 week mark but I just couldn’t do it. And I’m okay with that.

We told The Boyfriend’s parents on Saturday and they were shocked! Happy but shocked! We told my parents tonight over dinner and my parents were so happy they started crying, which made me cry (doesn’t take much, damn these hormones!). And now I’m telling the rest of the Diabetes Online Community! I had my first ob/gyn appointment this morning and so far so good! My uterus is the right size for a singleton pregnancy for 4 weeks 4 days (Somehow this lands me in the 5th week they said?). Next Wednesday I have an ultrasound to check for fetal heartbeat and overall viability and a consultation with the high risk doctor who will be managing my blood sugars from here on out. Three weeks from today is another ob appointment… and I’m still getting the darn stinking random and severe lows!

Who knew that the doctors who told me and my parents that I wouldn’t be able to have children because I’m diabetic would be soooo wrong? It feels amazing and strong to say that I’m going to a badass, bad guy fighting, overeducated diabetic mommy!

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